


Drunk Women (ft James, Alexander, and Theodosia Prevost Burr.)

by KianStrugglesToEven



Series: Kinky Memes [6]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Infidelity, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-10 04:16:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10428888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KianStrugglesToEven/pseuds/KianStrugglesToEven
Summary: LittleRedDress: Okay because The Schuyler Siblings are going home for the weekend lets get fucking rekt friday nightAngeli-kickyourass: I mean, im downMacaroniSucks: Hell yeaDangDiggityDosia: Will Capri-suns be availablePegarita: I will purchase capri-suns for my darlingOr: Bad things can happen when your drunk.(Now with added Whamilton Sexting)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE

"Help Us"

Damilton: Philip said his first words today  
MacaroniAndMe: What?? Hes a cat???  
SicklyAndPrickly: Cats cant talk Alexander?  
KinkGeorge: What did he say??  
NarrativeControl: He didn't say anything he just meowed and it sounded like he said Hi  
NarrativeControl: Alexander is over-reacting  
Damilton: You weren't even there he spoke I'm telling ya   
KinkGeorge: I????  
NarrativeControl: You sent me a 5 minuete long audio clip that was 5 seconds of him mewing and 4 minuetes of you crying about it  
Damilton: Dont expose me like this  
Turtle.Boi: Lord help us when you have kids if your like this with a cat  
Damilton: Im great with kids yo, i looked after Philip when he was born  
Turtle.Boi: Philips a cat Alexander  
Pegarita: No he means Philip Jeremiah, our younger brother  
ABurrSir: Wait you have a younger sibling???  
Pegarita: Yea he was born like,,, a few years after we adopted Alexander????  
Angeli-kickyourass: Yea idk why they had another kid after they adopted one but they did and Alexander was great with him  
Damilton: I wanna go down and see him now  
Pegarita: Oooh Can we???  
SicklyAndPrickly: Isnt your family home in Albany?  
Pegarita: Yea?  
SicklyAndPrickly: Isnt that like,,, 2hours away by car??  
Pegarita: Yea, its not that far  
SicklyAndPrickly: Non of you have a car??  
Damilton: Shit he right  
Angeli-kickyourass: We can have dad pick us up, but only at the weekend, capiche?   
Pegarita: Fineeeee  
Damilton: Yaaaaaaaay  
\---------------------------  
Damilton: I'm not free this weekend  
GWash(ingMachine): Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy  
Damilton: Why do you type like a child having a tantrum  
GWash(ingMachine): Because i am a child having a tantrum why else  
Damilton: Oml, sweetie your gonna have to deal im going to visit my family  
GWash(ingMachine): ಥ_ಥ  
Damilton: Where do you get these emoji's?  
GWash(ingMachine): Martha sends them to me  
Damilton: Of course she does  
\--------------------  
"@God please dont hate us"  
Damilton: Martha stop sending George emoji's  
TheCoolerWashington: Why  
Damilton: Because he keeps using them on me thats why  
TheCoolerWashington: Deal with it babs  
TheCoolerWashington: Oh and before i forget i finished knitting your sweater  
Damilton: You knit me a sweater????  
TheCoolerWashington: Yea Eliza mentioned you needed a sweater ill give you it at the next knitting club meeting  
Damilton: I???  
Damilton: I love you so much rn  
TheCoolerWashington: Wrong washington sweetie  
\----------------------  
Damilton: I was mad at your sister but now i may leave you for her  
GWash(ingMachine): Please dont  
Damilton: She knit me a sweater  
GWash(ingMachine): I'll be the bridesmaid at your wedding  
\-----------------------  
GWash(ingMachine): You never knit me sweaters????  
TheCoolerWashington: You can buy your own  
GWash(ingMachine): absolutely rude  
\----------------------------  
"Fight the patriarchy"  
LittleRedDress: Okay because The Schuyler Siblings are going home for the weekend lets get fucking rekt friday night  
Angeli-kickyourass: I mean, im down  
MacaroniSucks: Hell yea  
DangDiggityDosia: Will Capri-suns be available  
Pegarita: I will purchase capri-suns for my darling  
NarrativeControl: whos buying the alchohol tho i mean  
NarrativeControl: Non of us are 21????  
DangDiggityDosia: Dont you have a friend whos like,,, 30?  
LittleRedDress: M.Wash wont buy alcohol for minors   
Angeli-kickyourass: Good, thats good  
MacaroniSucks: I mean, do we know anyone over 21???  
Trolley: James has a fake Id  
Angeli-kickyourass: What????  
Trolley: Yea its really good aswell, he can buy for us but he would probs wanna join  
MacaroniSucks: Ask himmmmm  
\------------------------  
Trolley: Jemmy, my sweet husband  
SicklyAndPrickly: Dolley we arent married  
SicklyAndPrickly: How much alcohol do you want and where are we drinkin  
Trolley: Why do you think i want alcohol???  
SicklyAndPrickly: You only ever call me your husband when you want booze, darling.  
Trolley: ...  
Trolley: Enough for Me, the Schuyler sisters, the other 2/3 of the polys, and MarthaJeffs  
Trolley: We will be paying you for it  
SicklyAndPrickly: You havin a party?  
Trolley: Yes your invited   
SicklyAndPrickly: Can i bring Alexander?  
Trolley: Hell yea   
SicklyAndPrickly: Sweet, see you then  
\-----------------------------  
MyDarlingJemmy: Alexander sweetheart  
Dearest,Alexander: Yes Jemmy  
MyDarlingJemmy: So Dolley is having a party with the Gals and Non-Binary Pals, and she needs booze, so i was invited and your coming with  
Dearest,Alexander: Niceeee  
\-----------------------  
"Help Us"  
KinkGeorge: Chats too quiet where are the memes  
MacaroniAndMe: Crying  
KinkGeorge: Why????  
MacaroniAndMe: So you know i met my sugar Daddy recently  
KinkGeorge: yES I DO  
MacaroniAndMe: W e l l  
MacaroniAndMe: He just sent me this cute ass fucking coat and with a cute ass fucking note like "I'd love to go out with you again" goddam this man  
KinkGeorge: I say go, the guy seemed nice from what i could tell  
JeSuisChrist: You where hiding behind your menu for most of it Georgie  
KinkGeorge: Where the fuck have you been??  
JeSuisChrist: Destroying my fingers on a violin that's where  
MacaroniAndMe: I thought you played the Cello??  
KinkGeorge: I thought you played The Flute??  
JeSuisChrist: Yes.  
ABurrSir: Do you have ice and stuff??  
4SetsOfCorsets: Yea yea he has icy hands dw  
Turtle.Boi: good good  
4SetsOfCorsets: I c e y   
MacaroniAndMe: A n y w a y,,, yea im gonna see him again he was really sweet tbh  
KinkGeorge: good.  
\-----------------------------  
*Trolley added SicklyAndPrickly and Damilton to "Fight the Patriarchy"*  
Trolley: I added them cause they're getting wasted with us  
Angeli-kickyourass: Ayyyyy  
SicklyAndPrickly: Okay, gimme the money after ive bought it so i can price it right  
Damilton: We also have capri-suns for y'all who aint drinkers  
DangDiggityDosia: ayyyy my man  
Damilton: This is gon be lit y'all  
\----------------------  
DangDiggityDosia: Hello and welcome to the live blogging of these drunk shits, please welcome my co presenter Elizabeth Schuyler  
NarrativeControl: Hello Theodosia, always glad to be here  
DangDiggityDosia: Now what have we got on our hands today Miss Schuyler  
NarrativeControl: Well Theo, we have got some light weights on our hands. Mr Hamilton-Schuyler is on his third drink and is already aggressively sexting his boyfriend  
DangDiggityDosia: GETTING HIS PHONE ONE SEC  
NarrativeControl: While my co-host saves George Washingtons hand from straining, Peggy Schuyler is currently engaged in a drinking competition with her darling Maria Lewis, with Miss Lewis being in the lead it seems  
DangDiggityDosia: Nope, now their just groping each other  
NarrativeControl: Can you get peggys top back on i can see to much  
DangDiggityDosia: But shes so cute  
NarrativeControl: The last time i saw peggys tits is when i bathed her as a child please dont make me see them again  
DangDiggityDosia: yea yea okay  
SicklyAndPrickly: Hahahahahahaha Im not drunk yet fuck offf  
DangDiggityDosia: Here we see James Madison, drunk of his tits, attempting to climb over a couch at us  
NarrativeControl: Dolley and Angelica have dissapeared and i have no clue where they are  
DangDiggityDosia: They're still here i locked the door so no one could escape  
SicklyAndPrickly: Doleeeeyyyyyy  
SicklyAndPrickly: DOLLLEEYYYYYYYYY  
DangDiggityDosia: Did you just hand him Alexander  
SicklyAndPrickly: S0 soFt   
NarrativeControl: Right, nows hes shut up  
DangDiggityDosia: MarthaJeffs is just sat crying in the kitchen???  
NarrativeControl: I????  
DangDiggityDosia: "I just hate it so much" "What do you hate Martha" "Cheese"  
DangDiggityDosia: Poor child  
SicklyAndPrickly: I lost my soft thingggggg  
NarrativeControl: I, why does he still have his phone  
DangDiggityDosia: Idek ill get it now  
NarrativeControl: Alexander is sexting again how did he get his phone  
Damilton: yOU RUDE MotheRFuckERs  
NarrativeControl: Alexander gimme the phone  
Damilton: NEWWWWWWWW  
NarrativeControl: screams  
DangDiggityDosia: this is getting out of control   
NarrativeControl: Ya know what, ill just tell gwash to ignore him  
\--------------------  
NarrativeControl: Ignore Alexander he's drunk  
GWash(ingMachine): I guessed that  
NarrativeControl: Good talk  
\--------------------------  
DangDiggityDosia: Okay where tf are Dolls and Angie  
NarrativeControl: I think Martha's bedroom??  
DangDiggityDosia: I'll go check on them   
NarrativeControl: I will prevent Alexanders sin as much as possible  
DangDiggityDosia: Good Luck  
\------------------------  
DangDiggityDosia: I  
DangDiggityDosia: Oh My God  
DangDiggityDosia: Eliza oh my god help i dont know what to do  
NarrativeControl: Our private Chat?? Whats wrong???  
DangDiggityDosia: I dont know what to do, help oh my god  
NarrativeControl: Theo whats wrong  
DangDiggityDosia: Its Dolley and Angelica  
NarrativeControl: Theodosia oh my god whats wrong are they hurt  
DangDiggityDosia: I  
NarrativeControl: THEODOSIA  
DangDiggityDosia: I THINK THEIR HAVING SEX ELIZA


	2. Whamilwhat? A series of inappropriate texts.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What exactly was Alexander sending to George?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sin im sorry

Friday, 19:12 pm.

Damilton: Im getting drunk with my friends tonight  
GWash(ingMachine): Okay?? Why are you telling me??  
Damilton: Im a horny drunk, this is just a warning incase my friends dont take my phone.  
GWash(ingMachine): Oh.  
GWash(ingMachine): OH  
Damilton: Yeahh

\----------------------

Friday, 20:30pm

Damilton: Your reallly pretty  
Damilton: Reaaallllllllllllyyyyy pret ty  
Damilton: L ike,, When the summer comes, get f ucking ready hon  
GWash(ingMachine): I???  
Damilton: Ride you like a f uck ing cowboy  
GWash(ingMachine): Oh my god  
Damilton: heheheheh  
Damilton: Might not even waitt for the summer,,,  
Damilton: Your desk looks sturdy enough  
Damilton: I could probably find a loophole,,,,,  
GWash(ingMachine): Alexander, you're drunk.   
Damilton: Sooooooooooo????  
Damilton: Nooooo Theo wants my phone  
Damilton: Stop herrrrr

\-------------------------

Saturday, 00:58am

Damilton: youve got,,, r e ally th ick fingers  
Damilton: like ho t damn they are thicc  
Damilton: I am a small boy  
Damilton: How will i ge t them to fit??  
Damilton: I mean,,, if your hands are like that,, how thiccs your dick???  
Damilton: Georgeeee???? Answerrr me????  
Damilton: If we had sex on your desk,,, we could use one of those fancy ties you have,,  
Damilton: Just tie me up and have your funnn  
Damilton: shitt that would be hot  
Damilton: That nudes loophole works b oth ways ya know haha  
Damilton: James keeps tr ying to hug mee hahaha   
Damilton: Elizzaaaaa wantss my phoonneeee  
Damilton: Georgeeeeee

\--------------------------

Saturday, 1:00am

NarrativeControl: Ignore Alexander he's drunk  
GWash(ingMachine): I guessed that  
NarrativeControl: Good talk

\--------------------------

Saturday, 8:45am

Damilton: Oh dear God i just saw the texts i sent last night  
GWash(ingMachine): I take it you had a fun night?  
Damilton: Shhh with your snarky attitude, i am so hungover   
Damilton: Sa ve m e  
GWash(ingMachine): I know you were drunk, but some of the stuff you said,,, would you be willling to consider  
Damilton: I,,,,  
Damilton: Oh hell yea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its short but sinful  
> How do you write drunk texting honestly save me

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me this is so late and it ends so badly  
> But ooh, cliff hanger! Arent they fun  
> ((Also, I will be adding another chapter to this part, featuring the drunk sexting between Alexander and George, keep an eye out))  
> Kudos and Comments feed my family through the winter.


End file.
